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cacazz
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Name: Cassie
Country: Hong Kong
Birthday: 2/7/1988
Gender: Female
Interests: daydreaming, sleeping, shopping, tving, movieing, reading, musicing, laughing, chatting, hanging out wif frds, exploring new dining places...
Expertise: Eating!..haha
Message: message me
MSN: capoo20@hotmail.com
Member Since:
11/7/2005
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| I HATE MY SKIN ARGH!!! when will this end..aii..
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| i discovered today that charisma doesn't stem from how knowledgeable a person is, but whether they understand themselves well enough that they know what to pursue in life and persevere while achieving those goals. I realized how important it is to have your own dream and pursue it as a life process, but not as an end goal. As I was thinking these days about whether to continue my studies back in hong kong medical school after graduation, I was confronted by some of my friend's comments, that I should maybe put an end to my school life, move on to the next stage, try to find a job and get some real work experience, start finding a prospective husband in order to start a family later (seems so far away yet practical) etc. Yea I really don't want to take exams again for another four years, study in the library like hell just to memorize stuff that might not even be applicable, sacrifice my health and appearance for pulling all-nighters, make new friends who will be 4 years younger than me, wasting family's money on more tuition, etc. But i don't want to die having regrets, like what if i had been a doctor that would be such a good thing.
as we were having tea today, jeff (a dartmouth undergrad who's coming to michigan law school) mentioned how people are so stupid to try to skip the second year of LPC and try to get in a HKU BBA law in form 6. they may think that studying one more year in LPC is a waste of time, but it could have brought them to better schools like ivy leagues if they had actually finished the second year. it's the same case applied to him. some of his friends asked him why he wants to use three more years to study a law degree. (he already has undergrad law degree from a UK university, as well as triple majoring in dartmouth now) well his reasoning was that of course he will become more prestigious after grad school, and these three years will be well spent if it were not put into waste, he will have a better future than those who didn't get as much qualifications as he did. the thing is, what he said inspired me on what i have been struggling. what does a few more years of studying mean in the whole life process? if i don't choose to go for medic, the rest of my life i might be wandering around doing stuff that i don't like, maybe i will have a very stable life but not a very fulfilling one. i feel like i'm one of the lucky ones to know what my dream is since young, although in the end, different things might prevent me from becoming a real doctor, but the process of dreaming might be just enough to make me feel excited about life a bit more. =) | | |
| from Tues...
天堂是什麼？
我心目中的天堂是什麼？
是有幸福、快樂，沒有病痛、煩惱，和憂傷的地方？
是有平安、充滿愛，沒有孤獨、眼淚，和苦難的世界？
我在人群中，心裡卻渴望有更深的歸屬感，
我四處尋找，找不到一個真正的家的感覺；
我一個人旅行，好像很自在卻感到無比的孤獨，
我不斷付出，不斷給予，可是卻一再的被傷害，一次又一次的流淚...
直到我對這個世界失去信心；
直到我用亮麗的盔甲將自己一層層包裹；
直到我學會不期待，自己也就不會受傷；
直到我痲痹自己，日復一日的盲目的遊走...
在我心裡面，有一個我不斷用許許多多其他聲音來試著掩蓋的，極微小的聲音：
「我還是想要，那個我心目中的天堂。」
「我還是想愛，也想深深的被愛。」
直到我遇見耶穌。祂說祂愛我...
祂把我捧在手心上，祂重視我的感受。
祂看到我流淚會很心痛，祂在乎我。
祂讓我知道我的價值，遠遠超過任何人對我的讚揚或批評。
當我願意選擇接受祂的愛，
我好像在旋轉不停的世界裡，第一次找到真正屬於我的地方。
我終於，找到我的天堂。
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| it's hard to believe at this moment that a family would be one's safest haven.
instead, it turned out to be merely a house full of never ending and unsolvable problems.
who can you go to for comfort if this time your mum cries to you on the phone? clearly the accumulated problems in this family becomes incomparable to your own tedious happenings.
i feel like i should share the responsibility of tackling these problems, though i can really do nothing about it...the feeling of helplessness is killing me
the only thing i could do is pray...
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| 最後那夜看夜宴後說未夠吸引
然後我共你夜宴竟成遺憾
飯菜矇著灰塵 靜聽你說不能
凝望木檯裂痕 藏著逝去的蚊
沒錯 細節再醜都美好
永遠記得那夜每步痛踏最艱難長路
直至捱到 快要上班趕剃鬚
永遠記得我父母習慣說有病要醫好
忘記你的好必需鬥氣 忘記你的狠必需志氣
忘記了哭泣只因太錯愕 為何不一起
忘記了開始想起結尾 忘記甜蜜卻又想憎你
難道失憶也是場福氣
那夜我恨意盡泄在那爛透檯布
其實快樂最忌記憶太過好
願我如像鹵粗 敏銳猶如毒素
過去畫面幾好 全憑內心修補
忘記你的好必需鬥氣 忘記你的狠必需志氣
忘記了哭泣只因太錯愕 為何不一起
忘記了開始想起結尾 忘記甜蜜卻又想憎你
難道失憶也是場福氣
憑何懷念分離
那套陳年夜宴完全無驚喜
為何忘不起
誰要記起得不到最美 誰要記得這麼多哲理
忘記怎麼呼吸感覺氣味 做人該謙卑
時間有天終將污染你 憑我記憶拼命保管你
其實不甘快樂才想起 你想得到快樂才拋棄
i'm back to the cycle and i just feel frustrated coz i did not grow up
yea, i'm sure it feels so good being the social butterfly and the center of attention.
glad that you're getting what you want and enjoying life to the fullest.
now i'll just have to adjust myself to be okay with not being part of the crowd.
i'll have to stop myself from thinking how to take revenge by acting sociable even when i don't feel like it.
i will have to tell myself that it's okay to be a boring person compared to you.
n yea i realize that i'm too unreasonable to bring this issue up to myself again,
but u think it's easy that i could just put everything away?
that i have to face you the next day and the next two or three years hearing stuff about u.
trying to be friendly and act like nothing happened before,
i will be too inhumane to forget everything.
how i wish i was able to get out of this place,
that my friends just belong to me and i don't have to share them with you.
i shld be better off without u
n realize that i deserve better
i have a month to pull myself together. | | |
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